As it's that bizarre time of year, between xmas and new year, and all of our old favourite rugby fuxtures of this time have gone a bit the shape of the pear, and there's no senior colts, nor ladies rugby to warm the cockles of my heart, i thought to stave the bordom, and to fill in some blanks for you all, i'd Share some info on the great and good of the section, and the folk that often get a mention in this poorly written "labour of love".

So lets learn some more about your favs!!!

Jack "skipper" Gater - number8 - skipper is a player of considerable natural talent, and leads the troops with great gusto! A charming young lad, there's few more cheering sights than skipper launching an attack with a 20 yard spin pass off his left hand! Top lad!

Dane "dave, danny, blinky blenks" Blenkharn - utility player - young daneo has spent the past 2 1/2 years in rehabilitation after a terrible run of injuries! In that time he has filled the water bottles, run touch, and generally had to babysit Perie on the sidelines. Made his comeback against marple scoring a brace of tries! Interesting fact - reckons that his best position is openside, poor old dave may have to wait a while to convince everyone else! Top fella!

Alex "algi" Burns - scrum half/backrow/centre - algi has one of the best distributions of a pass off his left hand, not quite matched off his right! Odd cos he's right handed! A little nugget of a player, who loves the physical aspects of the game. Doesn't care where or who he plays, just that he's having a game with his mates. Top lad.

Will "ack" Atkinson - back row - due to no front 5 players ack has done stirling work at prop. he's a strong lad, and has discovered that he's actually a good player, and led the team fantastically in skippers absence at marple! Top fella. Interesting fact - apparently he has some sort of hgv licence, or so he keeps telling folk!

Tyler "chatty" Knowles - utility back- a man of few words, but misses fewer tackles! What a good player he is reader, an excellent reader of the game to boot! Only available, much to peries saddness, once a fortnight, due to work reasons. A real section fav though - interesting fact - has a sister called emily, perie is prouder than anything else he'd remembered her name!

Liam "pixie" Mckinnion - scrum half/wing - pixie is great, he pops up out of boot holes, from behind blades of grass etc! Plying his trade for winderemere 1st's he was leant via perie's mate danny harrison, for 1 game, and has stayed with his new mates eversince! What a top lad!

Danny Harrison - winderemere stallwalt, captain and all round top fella! Often seen with that other friend of the club, Richard "riggy" Rigg!

Jacob Parker - Whitehead - back row - another of the converted to the front 5 brigade. Fearless chap, often playing with his back in pain, but will always give all, and put in a great preformance. He'd be a hell of a player if he had a pain free few months, but loves helping the lads out that much that he ignores all advice. What a top fella! Interesting fact - we don't think that he's related to dor whitehead due to the fact he's still in education, and he's tall!

Robbie "i can't spell his surname"robbie - position - everywhere! Another of our non front 5! Robbie is such a top bloke, he doesn't normally play. Prefering the other game of association football, but he loves the section so much he keeps coming to help! Due to natural talent, and something called fitness (me neither) he pops up in play in the most unlikely of places! He's also a lot better than he thinks. He is a section hero! Interesting fact - often seen in the new moon, top grub!

Jay "jay" Barrow - utility back/hooker - jay is another heroically playing out of position. . . at hooker! And tbh he's doing a proper job of it reader. He likes to tackle, and to have some of his trademark 30 metre runs also, and is always up for a game! - interesting fact - 3xv hero, making a trademark run to score a try! Top lad!

Rory "silky" Blakely - Edwards - centre - what a top signing from the fat buffoon perie. Classy player all round, and really has helped us out of a hole or 2. Hasn't played for a game or 2, as he's going travelling to africa!Perie did say "what wrong with going to Holme village?". But we all wish him well!

Mike "Mike" Johnson- another of the rotund idiots inspired signings, and this boy can play reader! Helped us out of many a hole along with his mates rory, and mike "powelly" powell! Hopefully these 2 top lads can help us out again? No doubt Perie will be after them again in the new year, he will not let class avoid him(mind you its the only class associated with him).

Jack "1 man army" blakely edwards - scrum half/fly half/wherever he wants- the marple game saw perie more excited than when on a lancaster brewery tour when young Jack came back to the fold, showing his skills, perie was adament after the game the Durham school had opened a centre in Natland in an attempt to get him to stay! Hopefully he'll play another game for the chaps before we see him on the telly playing in the european cup! He's also a polite, nice young man! And he agreed to help his chums out! What an absolute hero, top man!

Jack "hilly" hill -wing- hilly has been injured for part of the season, but is now back with his chums, and what a great lad to have back. Always very enthusiastic about his rugby,he'll be back to his best very soon.

Calvin Dollard - utility back - calvin is extremely quick, so quick he keeps getting injured due to the g forces! Top fella who plays when he can, and is potentionally a great player!

"ickle" Nick Crierie - winger- small,committed, extremely quick, again a section fav who pops up to save the sectiin as and when he can! Will be a great player once he recognises thst the outside space, coupled with his extreme pace, is a winner, not ducking back inside to be met by his larger foes! Top man.

Liam Hayton - figurehead and cult hero. Is often seen at training and encouraging the lads in all aspects. Also is oft used as perie's sounding board for grumbling, if seen together in a social capacitity, please do return these 2 home, any home will do! Interesting fact - quiz winner 2013.

Theo, matt and mark. These lads come up from preston at their own expense to train and help the lads. They often have strange fittness based ideas (nope me neither!), but are 3 smashing blokes who are extremely good at what they do, and are always welcome with their section chums! 3 absolute diamond chaps!

Paddy, Browney and Ali - bar you dear reader the only people who read this gumph! So they get weekly named and shamed! Even though this happens every time, they still admit to it. . . What top boys!

Nick Milner - senior coach - a true gent, and quality coach. He's been really welcoming if the lads at senior section training, and gives plenty of encouragement! What a lovely chap! Interesting fact - does alot of charity work, along with matty beiber kaye! Top men!

Steve "dor" Whitehead - steve is director of rugby, and a real section friend. With his chum Mr Milner, he has welcomed, and further helped any of the lads who ask for any help. A living legend, he is oft accusing perie of stealing his matchballs, then cuddling him! Top bloke, runs the show - interesting fact - became very keen when finding out section fav tyler knowles ( brother of emily ) was a beef farmer, due to his love of meat, especially if he can purchase it cheaply!!

Brad "bradders" Jackson - wherever- bradders is a cult hero within the section. His skill set is ludicrous, his play committed, and he's a really nice chap too! Old bradders aint bothered by much, just loves his rugby, and annoying perie by completing the challenges set for him by his fat foe! What a man reader, as you will know if you've ever met him!

Arthur Perie - sort of coach/driver/section head. Perie is known for his love of the club, youth and ladies rugby. Also he is fat and fairly grumpy, but cheers up when the lads (or ladies) play on a sunday afto, or infact any kendal rugby is on! Known for his scheming, planning, challenges, slow motion sprints and love of the good life! Interesting fact - quiz winner 2013!

So there we go reader, a quick look at some of your more mentioned heros! Big thanks to, all the lads not mentioned, you are all superb fellas, but i'm running out of battery, and you all know how much i appreciate you!

as ever gill and mike, andy, the ladies section, and all our chums in the senior section, and our younger friends also! Ian thompson of saint + co, Matt "lancaster brewery" Jackson both wonderful sponsors. Mr John Uttley, an absolute club stalwart and top man, for his continued brilliant support throughout the club! But finally you dear reader, literature doesn't come alive unless read, which is why this is on life support!

I hope that 2014 is a cracking year for you,and i'll hopefully return to regale you with more tales very soon, if i'm spared.

Cheers

Arth